A Listener's Response to Cancellation of Shawty Lo's Reality Show

****Often I recieve letters and emails to episodes from 'Real Talk With THB'; I had to post this one:

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C    Cancelling the show is not enough. This type of lifestyle is going on more and more throughout the years. I do believe we need more positive shows but we also need to address this breakdown in the family, especially the black family. While I do agree that we should stand up againt foolishness that is put out there we also need to stand up and talk to our children about the desire to be a baby mama/baby daddy instead of being a wife/husband/parent. Why the rush? Also where did the idea originate a child will keep a man? I am a product of a single parent home and realize that some people enter into this lifestyle not on purpose however, too many of the youth are also not taking precautions to ensure it doesn't happen. In the words of one young lady I talked to that was pregnant at the time, said "I wasn't trying to get pregnant but I wasn't trying not to either." Really?

         What does that even mean? Now I listened to your show after the fact (I need to remember to tune in while I'm out of class) and it is interesting. The only thing I have to disagree with is that the man was trying to justify this because of people basing their opinions on western culture. The fact is that many African American and about 3-4 generations were born right here in America. Many of these individuals have not held on to their heritage nor practice any type of traditions from whatever African nation they originated from. So I need him to quit. Now polygamy however, this is not the issue with this case. I have actually watched SisterWives and I actually like it even though this is nowhere near the way I would live my life. This is a lifestyle that he tried to make a comparision to the Bible. However, this is not the case with this show.

         Shawty Lo is not married to any one of those women. If he was involved in a polygamist relationship where he was married to these women I could understand that. However, this situation is completely different. You have a man that is doing what he is conditioned to do and women that chose to be in those situations. And yes, I have to place some blame on these women. I actually watched the preview trailer of this show and to be honest I am not the biggest reality tv fan but I wanted to see this. Why? Because there are tooo many people out here living exactly like this and people need to stop turning a blind eye to it. Maybe they need to see the ugly in it to do something about it.

         These women knew about each other and that he had multiple children and no intention to marry them. I subscribe to an advice column that is pretty good but it AMAZES me how low women will go to get and/or keep a man. I know EVERY woman has to learn but its something wrong when we NEVER learn and teach the next generation of men and women to be fine with mediocrity and foolishness. It amazes me how only years ago women has so much value that an entire family could thrive off of that values and wars were fought because of women. Now you have prostitutes doing sexual favors for $20, men stringing a myriad of beautiful, intelligent women along just because they can and women deciding to be baby mamas because the traditional family in their mind is no longer an option. If we don't take and assert our value and worth, who will? This is a sad state that we are in but more needs to be done in our own homes. Ugly truths need to be exposed, communication open and solutions renders. That's my rant today darling....TTYL.

 

N      Nyaesia Campbell

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When Ladies Are Disrespected by Men Police Officers

Dear women, and men who read this blog:

We have all dreaded the bleeping of blue lights in our rear-view windows, only to look back and see a police car trumpeting a siren for us to pull over. Yet, many of us will not get alarmed or panic especially if we are certain we have not comitted a crime. But what happens, when you are pulled over in a city known for racial-profiling? I would like you to read this letter which serves as my 'Awareness Campaign' for such behavior, when it comes to women who are treated with callous disregard by men in uniform,but more importantly..the race issue is my most profound concern. In order to get to the roots of problems, we must all be like Moses,Ghandi, Martin Luther King, and Margaret Thatcher exposing darkness in humanity to the truth of the glorious light! Please share this link on your Facebookpage, Twitter Page etc.

ATTN:  Chief C. Rowe/Sherriff Mark Tirey

 P. O. Box 1447
1801 3rd Avenue South
Jasper, Alabama 35502

RE: (The Police Officers of Walker County) Serve and Protect or Harass and Denigrate

Dear Chief Rowe and Sherriff Tirey:

This letter should come as no surprise to you, as I am quite sure you have received many complaints, grievances and reports on the conduct of the officers under your guard here in Walker County. I am compelled to write this letter, under a spell of reluctance but also out of a necessity for ‘Duty’…duty on my part as a resident of this county.

The race issue in Jasper, Parrish and surrounding areas is keenly evident, more pronounced in the police department, which suffers incredibly to the point of suffocation and crippling any amount of RESPECT for the officers of Walker County-they are racist, narcissistic, rude, badgering, arrogant and filled with hostility.

I say this standing on much warranted grounds. Not only have I heard about the many issues surrounding the police department in this county, Sumiton..ie,  the assailing comments, the complaints filed on officers deemed corrupt and unscrupulous, and some of them standing at voting polls in Parrish deterring black voters, I have recently had the pleasure to meet one of ‘Jasper’s Finest’ and I must say he if he is the epitome of your workforce, than I couldn’t fathom the degree of aggressiveness they display when apprehending a true criminal, when I was treated with brazen disrespect for a supposed failure to stop at a Stop sign.

On my way to work on Thursday, 30 August 2012, officer Dennis Corbell cited me for failure to completely stop at a stop sign. I disagree with him on this matter. However, this oversight on his part is not my complaint, it is the sheer impudent conduct he showed me when I rolled down my window and said: “Good morning officer, what seems to be the problem?”

He turned on the icy stony glare and basically hollered at me. He did not once greet me and tell me the problem. He barked for me to get my license and registration. He was very aggressive, as if I had burglarized a bank! Our conversation was very tense, as I don’t tolerate being treated like that. And he told me to move my vehicle to another location, ‘And get out of this man’s driveway!”

We were not blocking a driveway, and considering his blatant disposition, I feared he might actually draw his gun and shoot at me and tell people I tried to flee the scene! I felt he was not serving my best interest at all. Who wants to live with this type of fear?

You would think that we were in the year sixteen hundred.  Now these intimidation measures may be effective in a prison-holding cell, or when your task force is kicking doors down to some drug dealer, or shoving some black elderly lady you all have under surveillance because she has undue traffic coming in her house, or maybe a ten year old black kid that looks like a terrorist to your men in blue, or maybe for Jews who God forbid walked on the pristine sidewalk reserved for Nazis Germany. I hope my point is clear- I feel the Jasper Police Department has never had a compass of judgment, and  every CAUSE is treated with brazen discrimination.

The fact of the matter is this: The Jasper Police Department and surrounding police departments are plagued with a caustic and bitter view of black people in general that ‘we all’ look like villains to you. The issues that are prevalent and ravenously eating the justice system in this town is uncontained. I have been pulled over twice in my life and I have never been treated like this!!!!

I intend to underscore this ‘Rotten apple’ that is tainting the good fruit present in the black community. We are tired of the harassment; we are fed up with the prejudice attitudes and I am tired of the gross extension of authority of the Jasper Police Department that has unnerved the rights of the black citizens in this town to live with contentment-we deserve it. We are citizens, not illegal immigrants, fugitives or vigilantes.

 

Sincerely,

 

Tamara Harris-Boman

 

When Friends Dissapoint You.....

Recently, I have had a prolonged visit in my meditation garden. It’s a place of solitude and a place to connect to concepts of understanding. Everyone needs a place that can offer them such

peace, because once you acquire a ‘purpose-driven life’, you will find that people whom you call

friends will began to fall off your radar.

This is because of changes that are going on in your life, and they don’t understand, or vice versa. Sometimes our expectations can be too high of others, and they fall short at other times

the expectations are simple and self explanatory .ie, have you ever done something for

someone and that person never said: “Thank You”? This is not puritanical theology. However,

sometimes people will get so familiar with you, they believe it’s acceptable to do things in an

 unorderly fashion. Yet, disappointment is the cornerstone of many leaders in the Bible. This

is why the epithet: Don’t put your trust in man, should be the bread we live by.

Although, it is difficult when those who are close to you do inexplicable things, or act in ways

that they believe will impede your progress, know for certain that weapon want prosper. Your journey must continue, even if it is alone. Nonetheless, there are lessons to be taken from  each action that people show forth to you, and then you will know whether to include that person in your circle, keep them in your circle, exclude them from your circle, or put them out!…But don’t let

disappointment block you from moving forward no matter what.

Until next time,

THB

Society Pressures Women to be in a Relationship..

I was reading Debra Cooper’s blog on “Why Women Should Not Get Married”. Her viewpoint and perspective was highly interesting to say the least. Although she paints a disturbingly grim idea of marriage, she makes some strong points worth considering-marriage is not a stroll in the park. However, her tone of disdain concerning men is boldly apparent throughout the entire blog;I found this unsettling. Yet, her overall message hits the stomach with a lot to digest, about women and the pressures for them to be in a relationship or married.

On this point, I have always thought that society has created a drawn-out map for women. The map tells the destination and gives an estimated time of arrival. Everything seems to always be on a time scale: when we start wearing make-up, when we should be in bras, when we should be intimate, when we should be getting married, and when we should be having children.  All of this has everything to do with ‘men’. Our lives are centered on being in a relationship with men.  It is the factor that defines our lives.

In high school, if you are not going to the prom with a date; you are seen as ‘odd’. But if you have a date, you are revered and ingratiated by your peers. This is why young women occasionally develop a complex with their image which can imbue her choices much later in life. She will find herself chasing this elusive idea of a relationship, which should lead to marriage. For instance, the courtship is supposed to be a sign to the scrutinizing public that you are taken; a value mark is placed on your worth. You all of a sudden matter.  At what point are these expectations too demanding? Of course some women do not want a husband, and few women are satisfied with not remarrying, but nothing is more disheartening than a desperate woman-she makes it her daily mission to find a date, or to latch onto a man in order to define her sense of worth; she tolerates much, and indoctrinates an aggressive attitude to defend an otherwise useless man-this is not solely due to society’s pressure, but it exacerbates matters.

Although I do believe in a healthy marriage, I also believe a single woman is no less valuable. However, if a woman feels heavily weighed down by being single, she should ask herself, will a committed relationship or marriage truly make me happy? Women were created to be loved by a man worthy of it only, don’t try and rush to the altar. True love is a journey without time-limitations.

THB

Only You Should Dictate Your Potential

They lived in a one room apartment. Her husband had left her. It was just she and her
daughter, Bette Davis. They were poor. Ruth Davis cleaned houses. She made her
daughter help her. It was a shameful life, moving around from dumpy hotel rooms,
barely scraping by. Yet, Ruth believed her daughter had talent. She believed that Bette
could be an actress, if someone could just train her a little, work with her. She committed her mind to this. She used the money they had to pay for Bette some acting lesson, but one of her instructors told Bette, she would never make it in Hollywood, because she didn’t have what it takes.  On the contrary, Bette Davis became a legend in Hollywood. She is the greatest of the greats, because she persevered when other’s doubted her.

The most difficult thing to accept at times is where we may be at certain points in our lives. But, in order to change this a positive mindset is imperative. Don’t rely on anyone
to take you pass the threshold, and snares of disappointments and failures; most of the time it’s a lonely walk. Nonetheless, walk it out, and talk it out. If someone is in your corner, their support will push you, but if no one is, keep going towards what you have your mind set on achieving. Eventually you will become disconnected with people who are content with idle pleasure; this is the sacrifice most people make when they want to achieve something. But you will meet others with whom you can relate.

Another thing to remember in reaching your goal is envisioning it. When you want a new car, see yourself driving it. When you want a new job, see yourself working hard doing that job, make up your mind, “it’s mine.” Under no circumstances should you leave your hopes and aspirations out on a chopping block for others to whack off pieces of it.  In other words: If they don’t share your enthusiasm-don’t tell them about it! People who don't want anything in life, usually don't give sound advice. So,  get the puzzles of your life together and move towards that purpose, if you don’t hear appraisal-”So What.” Keep moving, keep planning.  You will get it done; you will succeed, no enemy, no family member, or friend should ever dictate your potential.

Take care, and see you in the race.

THB

WHY THERE MUST BE AN ALLEGIANCE TO OUR YOUNG WOMEN..

I think by now, most of you know how I feel about the purpose of ‘The Women’s Academy’. Yet, If you are a newcomer, I would like to be more explicit about the task at hand, and just how essential and important the mission is for this organization.

This is a mission of compassion. It’s about a decree that must be made within yourself that, ‘I will help my sister carry the ball further.’ It’s not debatable that young black women are falling behind in academics, goals and potential. They get in the game already with two strikes (black & female). What would happen if the many of us could

come together and do our part?

Each Advisor asked to come on board for this program has been asked for a reason-some of you have been and are dynamic parents, and each of you represent the few images of success out there.  What if we could unify under one banner, under one cause, under one calling and answer to the voices of our young sisters? We could tell them: “I am here for you.” There’s not one young sister that’s not deserving, not one.

Moreover, there have been times each of us have looked back into our youth and recounted endless plights to even get where we are today-we had to encourage ourselves. This is a daily task, defining who we are. Now, imagine the present statistics of single parent households, limited resources and limited role models. How do these young ladies encourage themselves in the midst of promiscuous internet chat, television broadcast and music videos captivating sexual icons and hip hop vixens?

There has to be a different strategy and we can be a visible light for them. This is a movement, make no mistake about it. Gradually we will make a mark like a torch in the middle of the night. We will answer the cries of our sister, who walks with her head low and her mind heavy. In the end, it’s the greatest reward you could ever give-a chance to be somebody.

Thanks,

THB