I was reading Debra Cooper’s blog on “Why Women Should Not Get Married”. Her viewpoint and perspective was highly interesting to say the least. Although she paints a disturbingly grim idea of marriage, she makes some strong points worth considering-marriage is not a stroll in the park. However, her tone of disdain concerning men is boldly apparent throughout the entire blog;I found this unsettling. Yet, her overall message hits the stomach with a lot to digest, about women and the pressures for them to be in a relationship or married.
On this point, I have always thought that society has created a drawn-out map for women. The map tells the destination and gives an estimated time of arrival. Everything seems to always be on a time scale: when we start wearing make-up, when we should be in bras, when we should be intimate, when we should be getting married, and when we should be having children. All of this has everything to do with ‘men’. Our lives are centered on being in a relationship with men. It is the factor that defines our lives.
In high school, if you are not going to the prom with a date; you are seen as ‘odd’. But if you have a date, you are revered and ingratiated by your peers. This is why young women occasionally develop a complex with their image which can imbue her choices much later in life. She will find herself chasing this elusive idea of a relationship, which should lead to marriage. For instance, the courtship is supposed to be a sign to the scrutinizing public that you are taken; a value mark is placed on your worth. You all of a sudden matter. At what point are these expectations too demanding? Of course some women do not want a husband, and few women are satisfied with not remarrying, but nothing is more disheartening than a desperate woman-she makes it her daily mission to find a date, or to latch onto a man in order to define her sense of worth; she tolerates much, and indoctrinates an aggressive attitude to defend an otherwise useless man-this is not solely due to society’s pressure, but it exacerbates matters.
Although I do believe in a healthy marriage, I also believe a single woman is no less valuable. However, if a woman feels heavily weighed down by being single, she should ask herself, will a committed relationship or marriage truly make me happy? Women were created to be loved by a man worthy of it only, don’t try and rush to the altar. True love is a journey without time-limitations.
THB
